1. Oh, you’re actually more clever than I thought. I think it’s your accent, you know? It just makes everything you say sound really stupid.
2. I wouldn’t want to leave you alone with that sheep!
Why do you keep talking about sheep?
3. Can you sing? I bet you can sing!
You think it’s a compliment. But it’s actually a gross generalisation which can lead to acute social embarrassment and impotence among young Welsh men.
4. I was in Wales once. I was getting the ferry from Holyhead. God, that’s an awful place isn’t it?
5. You’ve done so well to get where you are. You know, growing up in the mines and all that…
6. Can you speak Welsh? Go on, say something in Welsh!
7. Actually, what’s that really long word in Welsh? WTF? You’ve totally made that up.
9. Wales! I used to love Stereophonics when I was younger. They went a bit crap then, didn’t they?
10. I think you should give up on that whole Welsh language thing. No one speaks it anyway.
Um, that’s kinda offensive, you know…
11. You’re from Wales … what, like the sea mammal? Hahahahaha!
Well done, you almost made a pun!