1. "Eggcorns" for "acorns"
2. "In the feeble position" for "in the foetal position"
3. "Youthamism" for "euphemism"
4. "Ostrich-sized" for "ostracised"
5. "Doggy-dog world" for "dog-eat-dog world"
6. "Pass mustard" for "pass muster"
7. "Bloodgeon" for "bludgeon"
8. "Coal-hearted" for "cold-hearted"
9. "Pre-madonna" for "prima donna"
10. "A grain assault" for "a grain of salt"
11. "A hare's breath" for "a hair's breadth"
12. "Exercise my demons" for "exorcise my demons"
13. "Take for granite" for "take for granted"
14. "Bobwire" for "barbed wire"
15. "Internally grateful" for "eternally grateful"
16. "Nip it in the butt" for "nip it in the bud"
17. "Social morays" for "social mores"
18. "French benefits" for "fringe benefits"
19. "Spear of influence" for "sphere of influence"
20. "Handsome cab" for "Hansom cab"
21. "Old timer's disease" for "Alzheimer's disease"
22. "Firstable" for "first of all"
23. "The crutch of the matter" for "the crux of the matter"
24. "Damp squid" for "damp squib"
25. "Chickens come home to roast" for "chickens come home to roost"
26. "Lack toast and tolerant" for "lactose intolerant"
All of these inventive misspellings (apart from "ostrich-sized") are taken from the brilliant "Eggcorn Database", a project by linguists and bloggers Arnold Zwicky and Ben Zimmer devoted to "collecting the kind of unusual English spellings that have come to be called eggcorns". The linguistics blog Language Log has also been observing eggcorns for some years, and the term was invented by Language Log contributor Geoff Pullum.