I will never forget this graffiti from 1966 Texas Tech dorm men's room: “LINUS AND BUBBA ARE BLOW BUDDIES”

If you drink a quart of bourbon every week for 5200 weeks, you'll live to be 100. (Hanszen College, Rice University, 1968)

Bathroom walls are different in the northeast.
Here they say: “[insert name of teenage guy] SUCKS COCK!”
“So does your mom.”
“Meet me here at 1oclock tues to see my cock.”
“Ur gay”
“So's your mom”

5. is a Demetri Martin joke.

I don't know if I'd call it hipster but the best bathroom writing I ever saw was this exchange: “I fucked your mom,” under which someone had written “Go home, dad. You're drunk.”

Somebody please explain to me how the word HIPSTER has anything to do with bathroom graffiti, or in particular, this specific list of bathroom graffiti. No seriously, please somebody help me out. Are there also pictures of the people writing this and they are wearing ironically fashionable clothing? Or can everyone just shut the fuck up and learn what the word “hipster” means, and then actually use it correctly in a sentence, like, ever.

My driving skillz are better than your driving skillz - Mario