26 Lies Boyfriends Tell Their Girlfriends

Because telling the truth can be hard sometimes

1. “I just want to take things slow”

Actually, I want to have sex with you as soon as possible, but I think this is what you want to hear

2. “My phone was in the other room / on silent / in the car”

Really I saw that you were calling and just didn’t feel like talking

3. “You’re prettier than her”

I feel like I have to say this whenever you bring up how pretty another girl is

4. “I don’t even look at other women”

Via Reuters

Every guy looks at other women - its like, human nature

5. “I don’t really drink that much”

Only on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays… And sometimes Tuesdays and Wednesdays

6. “I like your cooking”

Via Giphy

Actually your food is terrible and please don’t try to cook ever again ok thanks

7. “You’re SO funny”

Via Giphy

Your jokes are pretty bad

8. “You look good in everything”

Via ABC

Except for that - and a bunch of other horrible things you wear

9. “I like cuddling with you”

Via NBC

Please don’t touch me at night - I can’t sleep like that

10. “I really like your family”

Via Giphy

Can we please never see them again?

11. “I don’t care about your past”

Via Giphy

Really I just heard that you slept with this guy and now I am judging you for it

12. “I love spending all day with you”

Via Fox/ Giphy

Maybe like half the day but then I need some space ok?

13. “I like hanging out with your friends”

Via Sony

No I don’t - your friends are terrible

14. “I don’t watch porn”

Via Relativity Media

Except for every night that you don’t sleep over - then I do

15. “I didn’t even notice you gained weight”

If you think it’s noticeable, it probably is…

16. “I haven’t slept with that many people”

Via Paramount Vantage/ Giphy

Whatever number I told you, multiply it by 3 or 4

17. “You weren’t that drunk last night”

Via ABC

You were really wasted, but I don’t feel like you need to be reminded of this

18. “It’s just going to be a guy’s night tonight”

Via Ciroc

“Guy’s night” means a night with my guy friends… And girls… And pretty much anybody but you

19. “I like The Notebook

Via Giphy

I don’t want to watch Girls with you either, or Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

20. “I’m not thinking about anything”

Via NBC/ Giphy

If you ever ask me what I’m thinking about, expect this answer - STAY OUT OF MY HEAD

21. “You are the best sex I’ve ever had”

Via CBS

I say this to all my girlfriends - for one of them it’s true

22. “You’re not crazy”

Via Giphy

Yes you are

23. “I like paying for everything”

Via Giphy

You could at least offer to split the check once in a while

24. “My mom loves you”

Via HBO/ Giphy

Actually she thinks I’m settling and tells me I can do better

25. “Work is crazy right now”

Via Giphy

“Work” is a convenient excuse to not talk to you

26. “I would never lie to you”

Via Disney/ Giphy

Please see the title of this post

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