If you're British and you're not into football, there's clearly something wrong with you; some exisential mutation at the very core of your being. Football is a non-negotiable constant throughout the Great British Isles; an all-persavive cultural force that exerts its influence on almost every aspect of British life.
If the prospect of footy banter terrifies you, or the experience of watching a game bores you to the brink of brain injury, then you probably don't belong in Britain, and I will probably never be your friend.
But whilst you may be in the maladjusted minority, you're not entirely alone. Maybe these 4 videos from the good old world of British telly will make you feel a bit better about your weird, football-phobic life...