1. This hotel: the most remote lodging in Britain.
The Garvault Hotel is slap bang in the middle of nowhere - aka by the foot of Beinn Griam Mor in Sutherland, Scotland - far from the maddening crowds of modern society.
2. This pub: the most remote boozer in Britain.
This watering hole is also somewhere south of BFE (again, in Scotland). The Old Forge is only accessible by an 18 mile hike or a 7 mile sea crossing. Their website tagline is: “seafood, venison, real ales and folk music”.
3. This isolated boathouse.
The Boathouse at Knott’s End is tucked away in the middle of the Lake District and comes with its own lake - and rowing boat.
4. This eco barn in Wales.
Beudy Banc is surrounded by nothing but farmland, 600 feet above the stunning Dyfi valley in mid Wales, and is powered by solar vibes and wood burners alone.
5. This hot tub in the middle of nowhere.
It belongs to Knoydart House, a secluded ten-bedroom eco hideaway overlooking Loch Nevis and only accessible by boat - perfect for walkers, climbers and “munro baggers” apparently. It’s actually quite near that pub we mentioned earlier.
6. This cottage in the woods.
There are actually bricks and mortar among those trees. Hidden in Gwydir Forest in Snowdonia National Park, North Wales, Pentop Cottage is a back to basics retreat, but offers walking and mountain biking trails from the front door, and a night sky full of stars.
7. This traditional croft by a lake.
Callakille Cottage is a traditional croft eight miles north of Applecross village in West Scotland. Mobile reception is limited, but the views over the Inner Sound strait to the islands of Rona, Raasay and Skye - and on a clear day the hills of Harris and the Outer Hebrides - will probably surpass your Instagram feed. #nofilter guaranteed.
8. This castle in Scotland…
The seat of Clan Maclachlan, Castle Lachlan dates back to the late 18th Century and is set in a 1,500 acre estate. The family still live in one half, but you can rent the 15 spare rooms from £1750 for two nights.
9. …Or this castle in Scotland.
Aldourie is a Victorian country house in the turreted and towered Scots Baronial style on the southern shore of Loch Ness. Isolation guaranteed at eye-wateringly expensive rates.
10. This cabin behind a smugglers’ tunnel.
You have to stuff your luggage in a wheelbarrow and take it through a smugglers’ tunnel and across a deserted beach to reach the Blue Cabin by the Sea in Cove Harbour, Berwickshire, but the 1920s hideaway offers a variety of wholesome pursuits from rock pooling to birdwatching.
11. This posh house in the sticks.
Wedged between Loch Ailort on one side and the imposing Rois-Bheinn mountain range on the other, Roshven House was original owned by a Georgian laird in the 1780s. Nowadays it offers parties of 20 complete seclusion.
12. This campsite in the Outer Hebrides.
This mediterranean-looking spot at Horgabost offers pitches from around £7 per night.
13. Or maybe this campsite by Loch Enoch.
Another wild camping favourite, this is one of Britain’s Dark Sky Parks, meaning the noctural twinkles come from the stars, not a galaxy of iPhones.
14. This island.
Bardsey Island’s population drops to about 10 people off season, and most visitors stay in a farmhouse with no electricity.
15. Or perhaps this island.
Just 11 miles from the coast of Devon but a world apart, Lundy Island is 400ft of deserted granite sheltering less than 20 residents.
16. Orford Ness.
A wild and remote shingle spit, Orford Ness stretches for some ten miles along the Suffolk coastline. Nowadays it’s only home to birds and wildlife, but for seventy years it was a prime site for bomb tests and nuclear experimentation. Cobra Mist, an Anglo-American radar system, was sited here in the 1960s.
17. Brownsea Island.
Although Poole Harbour isn’t exactly miles from civilisation, Brownsea Island gets deserted after the last day trippers sail home. You can play Robinson Crusoe for a night or two with just wildlife for company.
365 square miles of moorland in Devon, Dartmoor affords hours and hours of aimless rambling without stumbling upon another human being.
19. The Brecon Beacons.
Wales’ answer to Dartmoor, the Brecon Beacons afford hours and hours of aimless rambling without stumbling upon another human being.
20. No Man’s Land Fort.
One of several sea forts built around Portsmouth to keep the French out in the 19th Century, No Man’s Land Fort has been bought by a developer looking to install bedrooms, an events venue and that all-important spa. Nearby Spitbank Fort is already accepting guests.
21. The Mourne Mountains.
An Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty in Northern Ireland, the aptly-named Mourne Mountains provided inspiration for both Game of Thrones and C.S. Lewis’ Narnia.
22. This lone bothy.
The Mountain Bothy Association maintains about a hundred bothies - simple lodgings with usually nothing more than a wood burning stove and somewhere to roll out a camping mat - across the UK. There’s no room key, no charge, and most importantly, NO ONE ELSE AROUND.