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1. This is Jason Bateman.
2. He is handsome, smart, funny, talented and kind.
3. Oh, and cute, too.
4. He was a teen hottie... and then just kept getting hotter.
5. When Jason smiles, we melt faster than Elphaba on a rainy day.
6. He played the "average guy" opposite Ryan Reynolds in that movie but NOBODY bought this "average" BS.
7. There was this time he was hanging out with a duckling in a pool and the entire world collectively went "D'AWWWWWW!"
8. And then the duckling called over her duckling friends because Jason is so fun to hang with.
9. He can commit. He's been married to the same lovely lady for 13 years.
10. In fact, he's a total family man.
11. And can we please talk about his hair for a minute? Even at 45, it is voluminous and lush like a rainforest.
12. We can just pretend this never happened...
13. He has a sensual side.
14. Did we mention how talented he is?
15. THESE. EYES.
16. Too clean cut for you, you say? Well, check him out all scruffy-like.
17. He takes time for moments of self-reflection.
18. He can't quite pull off a wink and it's the cutest thing ever in the history of cutest things.
19. He even looks good as a cartoon.
20. He knows how to take a punch.
21. But is a total badass himself.
22. He was kind of a total jerk in Bad Words, but you couldn't help but love him anyway.
23. In fact, he directed the movie, proving he's more than just a pretty face and awesome gum trick master.
24. He's got these cute little eye crinkles when he smiles and we just want to softly kiss each and every one of them.
25. You could teach him how to dance...
26. His BFF is Will Arnett and they're kind of adorable together.
27. He posts super funny things on Reddit.
28. He understands the importance of a spa day with friends.
29. Are you drooling yet? Have you seen this photo?
30. There's just no argument; Jason has animal magnetism.
31. Now say it with us:
32. Which, as always, will lead to:
33. We can all die happy now.
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