Humor writers, authors of The Man Who Scared a Shark to Death and Other True Tales of Drunken Debauchery (Penguin Global 08)
Just when you thought it was safe to venture into the barn again, after Bessie’s ozone layer destroying farts and Mad Cow disease, along comes the swine flu – the latest assault on humanity perpetrated by a creature most commonly seen on breakfast plates.
It seems the happy mailman’s days are numbered–– after all, distributing junk mail, coupon books and catalogs to people under house arrest is now the only thing that would fall under a list of vital services in these recessionary times.
Top 10 Weirdest Flavors of Beer!
the go-it-alone maverick, the drunk, the perp who hangs out in the dive bar, the snap your fingers DNA results...they're all here!
Top 10 Ways to be Irish on St Paddy's Day
As the poster says, it's for killin' on the cheap Movie audiences have become more sophisticated. It’s pretty difficult to shock, or unclench the folded arms of even the most jaded viewer. Of course, shouting “fire” in a crowded theater, if you can still find one that is, usually does the trick. (Theaters have pretty much emptied out of late due to a profound dissatisfaction with what’s being offered and by the ability to download what’s being offered, despite how dissatisfied you might be, a few days after it’s been released).
The 2 percent genetic difference between us and primates is comprised mainly of muscle and insanity. Hollywood has made its own case for why we should fear the furry ones. We’re not talking about Bedtime for Bonzo.
Interspecies love has been, not surprisingly, taboo cross-culturally, and with good reason. You don’t want a tribe member shacking up with and getting emotionally attached to a potential food source, especially when the god of the harvest isn’t heeding those orgies you’ve organized in his or her honor.
In pro wrestling there are a few ways to temporarily prolong your career. You can bed a member of the McMahon family, (preferably one involved in wrestling), adopt a tranquilizer regimen usually reserved for dancing circus bears or change up your identity with regularity like a wanted felon, or the less wanted, Madonna.
There are innumerable urban legends surrounding exploding animals of all kinds apart from the bugs that are going in the opposite direction of your windshield – lighting cow farts to see Bessie blown to the moon is a popular one – so we are not alone in being strangely fascinated with nature when its matter is sent hurtling towards the stars.
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