Goatees Are Inherently Evil

The scientific proof is too overwhelming to ignore. Keeping a well-maintained goatee turns you into a bad person.

There’s evil Edward Norton, post curb-stomp from American History X.

Evil Spock from Star Trek looking particular evil.

Hans Gruber. Perhaps the most evil man in history, because he tried to kill Bruce Willis.

General Zod from Superman 2 (who’s so evil, that he needs more facial hair.)

It’s definitely not a coincidence that Mel Gibson grew a goatee and started hating Jews.

Evil Cartman: Way more evil than regular non-goateed evil Cartman.

The Hoff has always seemed evil, with or without goatee.

Go ahead, someone tell me Kanye doesn’t contain the evil gene.

Ghengis Khan. Remember how he killed, like, EVERYBODY?

Perhaps the shining example of pure evil. Walter F’ing White.

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