1. 1. You have no idea what “Rock Chalk” means, but you say it anyway.
Save yourself a trip to Wikipedia: “‘Rock Chalk’ is a transposition of chalk rock, a type of limestone, that exists in the Cretaceous-age bedrocks of central and western parts of the state as well as on Mount Oread, where the University of Kansas is located, which is similar to the coccolith-bearing chalk of the white cliffs of Dover.”
2. 2. You know who this guy is …
But he doesn’t know who you are. If you’re on the up-and-up you probably know that Dennis’ doll (Sheryl) was once stolen but luckily made her way back home.
3. 3. You were bummed to hear that this got vandalized …
(Bye, bye, cheesy engagement photos.)
4. 4. You know where the (unlimited) free food is …
With your friends in the schol halls.
5. 5. You have eaten a “Jesus dog” or two in your day …
And loved every minute of it even though you probably never joined Campus Christians.
6. 6. Of COURSE you know about 15 cent wings.
And you’ve had many the stomachache to prove it.
7. 7. And you heard about the Boom Boom Room fiasco.
(If you don’t know, don’t Google it.)
8. 8. You’ve had the, er, pleasure of seeing this guy on campus.
(You’re barkin’ up the wrong tree in Lawrence, amigo.)
9. 9. And chances are someone on Wescoe Beach has warned you you’re headed straight for Hell.
He dresses to match his rhetoric, and he comes prepared with plenty of liquid to stay hydrated! This guy can go all day.
10. 10. You are vaguely aware that another university exists within 20 miles …
But you’re not sure if it’s real or not because you’ve never seen it in person.
11. 11. You’ve been to at least one party at The Reserve …
And you had the hardest time finding the apartment the party was in. When you were ready to go home, you found it impossible to get back to your apartment (especially after drinking) because The Reserve is practically in Baldwin City.
12. 12. And you went to plenty of parties in the “Student Ghetto”.
(These parties were a relief compared to The Reserve because they were SO much easier to find.)
13. 13. You know that Teller’s Sunday Brunch was the perfect hangover cure …
Especially with your 2 people for $10 coupon. (RIP Teller’s — we hope it wasn’t the coupons that did you in.)
14. 14. And once you were cured, you could go here with your homework …
To overhear nonsensical philosophical conversations, drink delicious sugary drinks, and conquer homework assignments atop an endearingly filthy table top.
15. 15. If you were in the Humanities, you know who this woman is …
And you know “it’ll be fine.”
Rock Chalk Jayhawk! Lawrence, keep being quirky, fun, and lovable!