20 Reasons You Don’t Need No Man

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies”… By ‘two bodies’ you mean me and my bed, right, Aristotle?


bikehugger.com / Via bikehugger.com

But it takes soooooo long, plus you can, like, really hurt yourself on those razor things. They’re dangerous.

2. You have to pretend to be interesting… and normal.

giphy.com / Via media1.giphy.com

Preach it, sista.

3. No one will ever worship us as much as Aaron Paul worships his wife… so what’s the point?!

static1.businessinsider.com / Via static1.businessinsider.com

The way he looks at her = ALL THE FEELS.

4. Plus Bey taught us to be single and independent so we can’t possibly let the Queen down.

tumblr.com / Via 25.media.tumblr.com

You know, even though she’s actually married with a kid.

5. Kissing is gross, anyway.

tumblr.com / Via 30.media.tumblr.com

You’ve brushed your teeth, right?

6. … And boys are gross.

dc496.4shared.com / Via dc496.4shared.com

7. Except this boy:

creativeboysclub.com / Via creativeboysclub.com

8. Oh, and this boy:

static2.wikia.nocookie.net / Via static2.wikia.nocookie.net

9. You’re too busy preparing for your Broadway debut to focus on a man.

tumblr.com / Via media.tumblr.com

No one hits those high notes in Defying Gravity quite like you do in the shower. Your neighbours are so lucky.

10. The thought of sharing YOUR bed with another human sends shivers down your spine.

i.thegloss.com / Via i.thegloss.com

Whoops, looks like there’s no room for you. Damn.

11. If you had a boyfriend, you wouldn’t have the time to watch back-to-back episodes of Orange Is the New Black alllllll day… you’d have to like… go outside.

stream1.gifsoup.com / Via stream1.gifsoup.com

What? No more Crazy Eyes?!

12. And remember, outside is bad… because that means you have to wear actual clothes.

i.chzbgr.com / Via i.chzbgr.com

Sadly, your unicorn onesie just ain’t gonna cut it.

13. Living alone with cats doesn’t sound depressing, it sounds AWESOME.

i.imgur.com / Via i.imgur.com

She took it too far, though.

14. Dates are just.too.awkward.

cdn29.elitedaily.com / Via cdn29.elitedaily.com

Definitely should have stayed in bed. And to think, I actually shaved my legs for this.

15. And the love of our lives isn’t even real.

tumblr.com / Via 25.media.tumblr.com

Come back to us, Seth. :(

16. You’re quite content living your love life vicariously through Taylor Swift.

celebquote.com / Via celebquote.com

Oh, Taylor, you just get me.

17. And, by the sounds of it, love is BRUTAL.

tumblr.com / Via 24.media.tumblr.com


18. But it’s all good, ‘cause Nutella exists.

data3.whicdn.com / Via data3.whicdn.com

19. … And so does pizza.

vanityfair.com / Via vanityfair.com

20. So there you have it, ladies and gents, being forever alone ROCKS. And to all the loved-up folk out there, this one’s for you guys:

tumblr.com / Via 25.media.tumblr.com

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

    Now Buzzing