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1. Bro Pumpkins don't have a problem, they're just social drinkers.
2. Inappropriate Emotions Pumpkin thinks your intervention is adorable.
3. Cousin Pumpkin didn't even want to come to this family reunion anyway.
4. Lady Pumpkin is too pretty to be an alcoholic.
5. Manly Pumpkin is going to leisurely smoke this cigar while you tell him he has a problem.
6. Stoop Pumpkin has no idea where these empty bottles came from, but he's blaming the kids.
7. Fat Pumpkin can't hear your concerns over all this vomit.
8. Squinty Pumpkin doesn't even have to look, he can just feel your disappointment.
9. Toupée Pumpkin is surrounded by enablers.
10. Pirate Pumpkin doesn't even need to finish vomiting between beers.
11. Axed Pumpkin clearly has bigger problems than his alcoholism.
12. Six-Pack Pumpkin thinks you're overreacting, he's just gonna walk it off.
13. Tiny Nostrils Pumpkin can usually hold his liquor way better than this.
14. Pimpin' Pumpkin drinks to forget his day job.
15. Angry Pumpkin is wasted and he isn't sorry.
16. Socially Awkward Pumpkin thinks your home is lovely, sorry, just give him one second.
17. Sinister Pumpkin changes his drinking habits for no one.
18. Frat Pumpkin will be OK in a second, don't throw his beer away.
19. Self-Aware Pumpkin drinks to cope with all the feelings inside.
20. Human Pumpkin drinks because there's just no place in this world for him.
21. Allergy Pumpkin would get tested to see what's causing this mucus, but his blood alcohol level is always too high.
22. Drinks Alone Pumpkin used to care.
23. Shocked Pumpkin got blackout drunk and has no idea how he's even vomiting that.
24. Trucker Pumpkin #canstopwontstop cause #YOLO.
25. Tiny Pumpkin may look small, but he can party hard.
26. Perplexed Pumpkin really doesn't remember eating that.
27. Uncle Pumpkin will take you guys trick-or-treating in just a second, and he's bringing his own bag.
28. Witchermelon drinks because she just wants to be a pumpkin.
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