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13 Times Square Foods With More Calories Than A 2-Liter Soda

As you’ve probably heard, Mayor Bloomberg’s Soda Ban goes into effect on March 12th. After that, you and your friends won’t be able to order a 2-liter of Coke when you get a pizza delivered or get a pitcher of root beer to split at the bowling ally. However, since free refills are still legal, this law only seems to prevent New Yorkers from having enough soda to make it all the way through Avengers 2 without having to miss the middle for a trip to the lobby. So with a 2-liter bottle of Coca-Cola containing 800 calories, here are 13 food items, intended to be consumed by a single individual, with more than 800 calories. And you don’t even have to leave Times Square!

1. Red Lobster’s “Crab Linguini Alfredo”

1350 calories

A fisherman’s dream.

2. The Olive Garden’s “Tour of Italy”

1450 calories

How am I to take this culinary journey, reaching the far corners of the Mediterranean, with only 16 oz of Mountain Dew?

3. Ruby Tuesday’s “Double Ruby Minis”

1247 calories

These aren’t even regular size burgers.

4. Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.’s “Steamed Crab Legs”

1520 calories

The Forrest Gump trivia has 0 calories.

5. Applebee’s New England Fish and Chips 1690

1690 calories

Yeesh.

6. T.G.I.Fridays’ “Jack Daniels Ribs and Shrimp”

1770 calories

7. Baskin Robbins’ “Reese’s Buzzer Beater Layered Sundae”

1360 calories

At the Dunkin Donuts attached to this Baskin Robbins, you now have to add your own sugar and “flavor swirls” if you want a Medium or Large coffee or iced coffee, but you will have no trouble ordering this behemoth. (I also couldn’t find a real picture of this one. It seems to exists only in myths.)

8. Chevy’s “Steak Tostada Salad with Apple Chipolte Vinaigrette”

1940 calories

This is a salad. A. SALAD.

9. Hard Rock Cafe’s “The Texan Pulled Pork Sandwich”

2016 calories

Nothin’ says rock and roll like… well, this. YOLO

10. Famous Dave’s “Feast for 2” (Half Order)

2230 calories

If you’re lonely, you can always eat the other half. Just make sure to order water.

11. Cold Stone Creamery’s “PB&C Gotta Have It Milkshake”

1720 calories

I know what you’re thinking. “But that’s a sugary beverage,” you say. However, the ban does not restrict milkshakes as long as they are at least 50% milk. Either way, a legal 16 oz “Like It” of this concoction still surpasses the 2 liter with a whopping 1110 calories.

12. Dave and Buster’s “Anything on the Menu Excpet for 3 Entrees”

>600 calories

Though I could not find the nutritional information for any of Dave and Buster’s menu items, I did find a section of the menu boasting meals under 600 calories. As you can see, this health conscious section of the menu has a staggering THREE DINNER OPTIONS. Now that doesn’t prove that the rest of the menu will be over 800 calories, but it’s not looking good. Those people in the photo are laughing at all of us.

13. Midtown Buffet

Unlimited

You do you, bro.

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