Kim Kardashian's 'Selfish' As A Poetry Book

What if Kim published a book of poems instead of selfies?

Everyone knows Kim K is dropping a book of selfies in May. What you may not know is the book was Kanye's idea! First, he had the nerve to replace her fur Uggs with a Furkini and now he's butting into her publishing dreams? Not cool. Sources speculate that Kim's original book idea was deeper than meets the thigh. Word is, she originally planned on releasing a collection of personal poems! Below are a few examples of the genius that could have been...

The Contours of the Wind

Chin, Nose, Cheeks

shine bright,

shed light

On the universe.

Lips, Eyes, Forehead

Like a black hole,

my soul

sucks foundation

Swallow Up a G String

My thighs rise and fall

with the tides

Who are you to say

baby, one more time?

this slap, clap is mine

(unless it's yours)

No, really.

Don't Cry For Me

Kim, there are people that are dying

She says

I know that!

I'm one of them.

All of the Lights

Flash?

Flash, Flash.

Yes?

(flash)

Here?

FLASH!

YES!

FLASH! FLASH!

No.

flash?

Go away!

click

Please, don't leave me!

There's No Place Like Hoe

Mama is my favorite

Spice Girls song

Mama, I love you,

Mama my friend

I sang that, too

I'm the mom now, bitch

Stop stealing my clothes.

Via johngushue.typepad.com

Can I Live? (If Living is Without You)

Your love nourishes

like egg whites

Not too heavy,

child of mine.

Your Prada shoes

my Givenchy hat

in symmetry. you complete me

So I crop you

From my selfies