25 Reasons Why Mormon Men Are The Toughest SOBs On The Planet

Let’s be honest, being a Mormon man is not easy, he never gets credit… until now. Here are 25 facts that you know to be true with every fiber of your being.

1. Eagle Scout by Age 16 (if you want a driver’s license)

Get those merit badges

ID: 1600966

2. Her? Not until you put a ring on it, buddy.

Now THAT is strength.

ID: 1606862

3. And you can’t even swear, FRICK

flippin’ sons of biznatches

ID: 1606960

4. Survive Church Ball Brutality

Watch the elbows and short-man syndrome

ID: 1600815

5. Survive it well

Via Posted by Jared Allen, video of his cousin Cole
ID: 1599736

6. Go to Haiti for 2 years, learn French in 6 weeks, convince strangers to believe in Jesus.

Return home and be immediately normal.

ID: 1601044

7. Get rejected approximately 1,000 times a day


ID: 1606940

8. Come home with parasite, lose 50 lbs, still wins inter-mural championship

Jenny Craig worked for me

ID: 1606982

9. Get rejected 100,000 more times as summer salesman bro, get paid nothing

This seems oddly familiar…

ID: 1606945

10. Work 60 hours a week, then work 15 hours on church calling

You can sleep when you’re in spirit paradise

ID: 1601149

11. 7 kids under the age of 12, Drive Mormon Assault Vehicle

Celestial glory wagon

ID: 1600851

12. Raise those 7 kids on 10% less than the Joneses

But 10X the karma points

ID: 1606854

13. Six figures by 30, CEO by 40, retire by 50, go back to Haiti on a 3 year mission.

Basically, don’t be a 47 percenter. Being a dentist is also an accepted answer.

ID: 1601080

14. All this with nothing but ice cream and diet coke to drown your sorrows

Brain freeze wasted

ID: 1606949

15. Your Great, Great Grandpa provided for four wives, slacker

Yes dear, dear, dear, dear

ID: 1606904

16. You put up with magnets questions like a total champ

Toughness is patience

ID: 1606919

17. You’re sculpted like an ancient warrior

Seriously? Those arms are photoshopped!

ID: 1606969

18. Put two years of food on the table. NOW.

Potato pearls for daaaays

ID: 1606972

19. First ones to Hurricane Sandy

Where you at, FEMA

ID: 1606988

20. First ones to hurricane Katrina

Schooled FEMA, again

ID: 1606993

21. Transport your family 1,500 miles pulling a handcart like a boss

There’s a couple bags of flour in there to eat.

ID: 1607000

22. This guy

Porter Rockwell can stare through your soul

ID: 1607003

23. This guy

Brigham Young

ID: 1607006

24. This Guy

Merlin Olsen, NFL Hall of Fame

ID: 1607015

25. And this guy

Steve Young, 49ers

ID: 1607018

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