20 Reasons Why Summer Fairs Are Awesomely A-MURR-ICAN

Ever tried describing what it is about fairs that are so frickin' fun? Read on.

1. The corn dog, the funnel cake, and cotton candy are all staples of the fair-goers diet.

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According to Time magazine, all three of these summertime yummies are included on the official list of the Top 10 State Fair Foods. Even though the hot dog's origins trace back to Germany, and the funnel cake's to Anglo-Norman cookbooks, nothing says "American summer nights" like this sugar- and calorie-laden trifecta (cotton candy, however, was invented by an American dentist, if you can believe it...)

2. ...and spinning rides proffer the chance to swiftly puke them all up.

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That's the best part...right?

3. ...so you've got even more room in your tummy for even MORE foods of the fried variety!

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Bring it on.

4. Country music, the genre soundtrack to the American experience, is always at a summer fair.

Quad-City Times Andrew Link / Via qctimes.com

The Mississippi Valley State Fair in Davenport, Iowa, for instance, hosts a new country artist performance every single night. Alan Jackson, a crowd favorite who appeared in the summer of 2014, sparked such an enthusiastic response stemming from the most passionate pride in our country I have ever witnessed, that one couldn't help but learn to love his music and relish the feeling of being American.

5. And at said concerts, you'd be surprised how easy it is to make friends up here.

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6. ...and here.

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7. ...and even here!

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That's commitment right there.

8. One of those rare moments when men and women alike sport identical footwear.

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Two words: cowboy boots.

Two more words: YES. PLEASE.

9. Where else is it socially acceptable to shamelessly play with tons of cute animals?!

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From teeny, tiny, fluffy ducklings, to enormous draft horses, fairs almost always include some sort of fantastic menagerie experience for fair-goers. It's THE place where your blue ribbon pig, Mirabelle, can truly shine.

10. Who doesn't love winning super duper ginormous prizes...

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11. ...or have a boy win one for you?

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Dawww

12. Which reminds me, let's not forget the best spot ever for canoodling - the ferris wheel.

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13. Oh by the way, did I mention the food?

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Drooling? Don't worry. It's normal.

14. And, like, all the fried food, too?

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15. AND HOLY SHIT THOSE FREAKING AWESOME PRIZES???

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Just checking.

16. Also, assuming your stomach is still in tact from aaaall that food, time for a mechanical bull ride!

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17. Get ready for some downright weird contests.

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...like at the Utah State Fair, where folks save up their stinkiest shoes all year long in hopes of winning the annual Rotten Sneaker Contest, sponsored by Odor Eaters. The winner earns the Golden Sneaker Award, a cash prize, and automatic entry to the national smelly shoe championships.

Yes, that is a thing.

18. And once you're done eating all that food and going on spinning rides and puking and winning a prize bigger than you are, it's time to shoot a gun!

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19. Bit too young? Not to worry. You can still practice your aim here.

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20. ...or here!

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21. And at the end of a long fun-filled day, you get to take home a new friend.

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