13 Things You Should Never Say To An Unpaid Intern

Because we WILL spit in your tea

1. "Come in for a chat"

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No-one has ever travelled three hours into central London for a "chat". You're trying to keep things casual, but we'd actually prefer you called this an interview. At least it would give us a little dignity.

2. "Do you mind hovering?"

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Seriously? We don't even get a desk?

3. "This is the interns' handbook"

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You've compiled a bible-sized dossier to tell us where the loo is, so you needn't even speak to us? Jeez, how thoughtful.

4. “Don’t EVER speak to the boss"

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We weren't planning to. But now you've said that, we couldn't feel any smaller or more awkward. And we felt pretty small and awkward before.

5. “Leave the bag in”

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We slogged through school, spent three years at uni, amassed £30,000 of debt and are now kipping in a mate's bath – all for the privilege of making your whole office five brews a day. And you call us entitled?

6. "It's your round"

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We run errands for you all week. It's Friday night - and you invited us to the pub. And We. Are. Not. Being. PAID.

7. "Get the intern to do that" (Part 1)

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We've been here three months and you don't know our name?

8. "Get the intern to do that" (Part 2)

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Guys, we're standing RIGHT HERE.

9. “Don’t stay too late…”

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You're leaving – and we're staying? What's wrong with this picture?

10. "It's not rocket science"

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You've given us a weird task and explained it badly. Now you're implying we're thick. Nice.

11. "This MUST be done by 5pm"

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YOU left this task too late, and now you want US to be stressed. Is that correct?

12. "Sorry, we no longer pay expenses"

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Exc-YOOZ us? The ad said you did. You never said you didn't. When exactly did this "policy" change? And when were you planning to share this news with the only person who cared?

13. "Write your own reference and I'll sign it"

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We toiled for eight hours a day, five days a week, for three months, for NO PAY. In fact, this internship has actually cost us money. And now you can't even be arsed to write five lines saying we smiled and put up with your crap? Just… wow.

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DO UNPAID INTERNSHIPS MAKE YOU CRAZY?
Get your revenge by sharing the Ultimate List of cheapskate employers* we've named and shamed on Graduate Fog. Click here!

(*includes dozens of big brands and famous people our lawyers have banned us from mentioning here)