19 True Unsung Heroes Of The Midwest

    Let's raise our 100-Ounces and hear it for...

    1. The Kum & Go attendants who will endure a life of bad punny jokes.

    2. Folks who understand the rightful proportions of a BLT

    3. The Illinois resident who won't let D-Rose get away with betraying the Bulls.

    4. The family who pulled up to a Steak & Shake on horse.

    5. ....And the man who at least had the decency to park his horse.

    6. Big Ten college football teams whose rivalries can only be settled one way.

    7. All the MARIOS IRL.

    8. JJ's sandwich crafters who are always looking out for you.

    9. All Missouri minivans who aren't afraid to be themselves.

    10. People who can never pass up or outgrow a good tailgate.

    11. Bros who insist on wearing gym shorts in the winter.

    You: 1

    Cold: 0

    12. Steak & Shake's loyal customers who can testify just how magical side-by-side milkshakes are.

    13. Culver's custard cups and their employees for breathing meaning back into your life.

    14. These Iowan trailblazers who can turn anything into a beer pong game.

    15. Literally anything.

    16. Extreme log rollers who prove slippery trees are not to be fucked with.

    17. The blessed couple that got to live out their fantasy destination wedding

    18. The true culinary innovators of sweet corn.

    19. And of course, forever and ever, Marilyn Pickard.