48 Collateral Effects Of Quitting Facebook
We all have different reasons for quitting Facebook and we all did it or thought about it. It can be social media exhaustion, it can be the fact that there's no social media rehab in your area or simply social media bankruptcy. I actually went through it and I can tell you first hand what happens when you quit Facebook. It's no easy task, my friend, I can tell you that for free.
1.No one texts you to invite you for their party/random accomplishment get together.
2.You will start having dreams in “likes.”
3.That girl/guy you friended (because you thought it was a smoother move), rather than asking for their phone number, is gone.
4.You can't stalk your exes anymore.
5.No one remembers your birthday.
6.You realize only a few of your kindhearted friends find you amusing.
7.You wonder if your “like” dreams are real.
8.You actually don't know what’s happening in your friends’ lives.
9.You have an unjustified feeling of superiority.
10.Your oversharing is frowned upon IRL.
11.You won’t know what’s socially accepted anymore.
12.You will make a Spotify playlist with only "What Does the Fox Say?" by Ylvis called “Sweet Jams” playing on heavy rotation.
13.You will start talking to yourself instead of making posts on your wall.
14.You find things that are amusing enough to share on Facebook, but not enough to send an email/text about it.
15.You wonder if your “like” dreams are actually implanted memories.
16.You will miss your best friend’s birthday.
17.You have no use for a computer or a smart phone any longer.
18.You send amusing things you find to your friends via email or text anyways, but no one will respond.
19.You won't know if the person you're dating is de facto busy or ignoring you and dicking around on Facebook.
20.You’ll start quoting “Monk.”
21.You wonder if you really quit Facebook or if you were incepted.
22.“Like” dreams become nightmares.
23.You envy people who say "oh, tag me on that too!"
24.Taking photographs seems pointless now.
25.You will find that because people “like” things now they won’t reply to every random text message you send them.
26.You will find that being out of Facebook means out of all inside jokes. Inside being the insides of Facebook itself.
27.You miss the MySpace days, when life was less complicated.
28.You won’t know if your thoughts are inappropriate without “likes.”
29.You’ll say, “oh, tag me on that too” even though you are not on Facebook anymore and people will call you out and you’ll say, “JK!” And people will shake their heads in disapproval.
30.You will find that saying, “I'm not on Facebook” does not have the same impact of “I don't own a TV.”
31.Taking selfies is just flat out creepy.
32.You meet people you friended on the streets, but you don’t know their names.
33.Your hashtag jokes are obnoxious in IRL
34.Your control over what party photos of you are posted online is gone.
35.You will realize you don’t know anyone without seeing the pages they liked.
36.When you are on a date and you reveal to people you are not on Facebook they think you are a serial killer.
37.You will find that finishing a sentence saying l.o.l. makes people uncomfortable.
38.Your mom assumes you blocked her on Facebook.
39.And so does your S.O.
40.Like becomes a verbal tic.
41.You’ll forget what cats and babies look like in a week.
42.You will find that asking people if they liked what you just said in a conversation is off putting.
43.You will create another Facebook account with a fake name and feel ashamed. Like buying Cheetos when you’re drunk and waking up with orange lips and fingers ashamed.
44.You wonder if your Facebook friends replaced you with another Facebook friend already.
45.You plot to kill your Facebook replacement.
46.You start wondering if you are a, in fact, a serial killer. I mean, why the hell are you not on Facebook, you creep?
47.You start wondering if your friends were real or just bots on Facebook.
48.You will feel uncomfortable using like as a verb.
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