1. You had a rough day.
Mostly because the day ended in a “Y”.
4. You’ve made easily breakable promises to your friends.
Never commit to plans unless you can break them.
5. You’ve spent the last hour browsing Seamless.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you finish it yourself.
6. You just realized your roommate is out of town.
Just make sure you’ve locked all the doors. Twice.
7. You’ve already cracked open your first bottle of wine.
Emphasis on first.
8. Netflix is open and paused on your computer.
Just one more episode, promise.
9. You remember you hate talking to strangers. Or people, for that matter.
Why can’t they just go away and leave me to my couch?
10. You checked your bank account recently.
Does money actually grow on invisible trees? Because that’s the only logical explanation at this point.
11. It’s [insert any kind of weather phenomena here] outside.
12. You haven’t gone to the gym recently. Or ever, really.
Do you even know where the closest gym is? Correct Answer: No.
13. You literally can’t find anything in your apartment.
It’s probably buried in that mound over there. Best leave it be.
14. You skipped laundry day this month (year).
One day. Just not this day.
15. Or… you just did laundry and your sheets are way too comfortable for their own good.
Never leaving the bed again, FYI.