10 Things You Can Only Do If You’re Unemployed

They call it “funemployment” for a reason.

1. When you’re unemployed, you can watch Ellen. And Dr. Oz. And Dr. Phil. And re-runs of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

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2. You can get the Pizza Hut Big Box delivered without the whole office thinking you’re a fat lard.

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3. You can have fun Instagram posts from days that are not called Saturday or Sunday.

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4. You can nap from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

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5. You can stalk the hot guy from high school who ended up being a plumber without feeling like you “should be working right now.”

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6. You can watch the street sweeper clean your street.

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7. You can run outside without fear of kidnappers lurking in the after-work darkness.

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8. You can keep the radio on all day and listen for the song to win.

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9. You can watch small children be merrily reunited with their parents after preschool.

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10. You can spend five hours beating 40 levels on Candy Crush and realize that this is, in fact, an accomplishment.

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