Fail

Quiz

Viral

WEIRD

BuzzFeed Staff

BuzzFeed

<b>That thing you think no one knows about?</b> WE KNOW.

That thing you think no one knows about? WE KNOW.

Can We Guess Your Secret?

Your crush is pretty much literally ALL you think about and literally ZERO of what you talk about. You spend your nights staying up imagining your future together, and your days pretending that nothing at all is going on. The good news is that one of these nights you'll probably get drunk enough that you'll reveal your secret, at least in texted emoji form.

"I have a crush on someone who doesn't know"

It's not that you NEVER read, it's just that every once in awhile when you're filling out a social media profile or talking to a cute person with glasses at a party, you wax poetic about a David Foster Wallace or a Thomas Pynchon book that you've actually only read the front cover of. You've gotten so good at having strong opinions on books you've never read that you've basically forgotten that you never read them.

"I lie about having read certain books"

Sure, everyone had a tough time in childhood. But yours was REALLY bad. You never talk about it, not because you're not OK now (adulthood rules!), but because you're not at all interested in being thrown a pity party.

"My childhood REALLY sucked"

It's been...weeks? Months? YEARS?... and you still think about the one who got away and wonder how you'll get them back. You've even started dating, but secretly you've got Adele in the headphones and you're just looking for "someone like [them]." :(

"I'm still not over my ex"

Your friends think you're sweet and maybe even a little boring, but once the bedroom door is closed you're breaking out the leather cuffs, whips, and leather outfits. Rroww!

"I am super kinky in bed"

Sure, you've known a few cool dogs but why the hell are people on the internet always squealing over videos of GIFs of random animals doing boring stuff? Humans are SO much more interesting and babies are way cuter. Never tell anyone this secret because they will think you're a sociopath, and maybe you are.

"I don't get why people love animals so much"

Girl/boy, YOU BAD. Your mileage may vary, but you totally mugged down with someone you shouldn't have: one or both of you was in a relationship, or maybe they're your best friend's dad or something. Whatever it was, it was TOTALLY WORTH IT unless ANYONE ever finds out, at which time it will immediately become the worst decision you ever made.

"I made out with someone I shouldn't have"

You: "Can people just get over "Queen B" already? She's not the queen of anything, and there are plenty of other more talented artists." 
Me: DON'T TELL ANYONE.

"I think Beyoncé is overrated"

Oh man, I bet you took this whole quiz just anticipating what fake secret we would make up for you that you could share and feel like a badass. But the truth is, your heart is on your sleeve and you tell your friends everything. You feel uncool, but it's a good quality, so don't sweat it so much!

"I don't have a good secret, but I wish I did"

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Can We Guess Your Secret?

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