The 29 Most Austin Things That Ever Happened

Keep Austin Perfect.

29. A Car2Go saying hello to this man riding a longhorn.

Level of Austin-ness: Eating breakfast tacos for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner.

28. This sign.

Level of Austin-ness: Going to Barton Springs for the afternoon and never getting in the water.

27. Riding the jackalope at The Jackalope.

Level of Austin-ness: Smoking pot with Willie Nelson.

26. Learning to hook ‘em at UT orientation, 1978.

Level of Austin-ness: Owning your own longhorn.

25. G-string yoga.

Level of Austin-ness: Winning Chicken Shit Bingo at Ginny’s Little Longhorn the first time you play.

24. This welcoming sign.

Level of Austin-ness: Going to The Grackle, Liberty, and Hole In The Wall all in one night, so you can check off the holy trinity of East Side King locations.

23. This creative solicitor.

Level of Austin-ness: Spending a couple nights sleeping on the drag just because your parents are bumming you out.

22. Neil deGrasse Tyson attending the University of Texas in 1980.

Level of Austin-ness: Getting to Franklin BBQ at 2 p.m. and finding out they still have brisket leftover.

21. This tag at Mount Bonnell.

Level of Austin-ness: Taking off work to “attend” SXSW without ever going to anything that isn’t a free party.

20. This date spot.

Level of Austin-ness: Going to BookPeople in the afternoon and then suddenly looking up from your magazine to realize it’s 11 p.m. and they’re closing.

19. Roky Erickson at Le Lollypop Club, 1965.

Level of Austin-ness: Appearing in Slacker.

18. This Snapchat.

Level of Austin-ness: Being vegetarian six days a week and driving to a different BBQ place every Sunday.

17. A werewolf playing violin and wearing a shirt that says “Party Girls Rock.”

Level of Austin-ness: Filling your entire fridge with Topo Chico.

16. Ginny’s rules.

Level of Austin-ness: Building your own kite for the Zilker Kite Festival and then getting so stoned that you forget what day it’s on and miss it entirely.

15. This stolen bike flyer.

Level of Austin-ness: Getting tears in your eyes when you drive past the corner of 6th and Red River where Emo’s used to be before it moved to Riverside.

14. The pregnant lady keychains at Toy Joy.

Level of Austin-ness: Suddenly realizing how much dog pee there probably is in “Barking Springs” and then getting in the water anyway.

13. When Ann Richards did a “No Talking” ad for The Alamo Drafthouse.

Level of Austin-ness: Actually knowing Betty Blackwell.

12. The Texas Track Club, 1964.

Level of Austin-ness: Going to a high school football game…of a high school you didn’t attend and don’t know anyone who does.

11. This van.

Level of Austin-ness: Calling Taco-Mex “Taco Window.”

10. The Hipster Trap.

Level of Austin-ness: Deciding, as an adult with no children, to get a season pass to Schlitterbahn.

9. Hank Hill + Horchata.

Level of Austin-ness: Being BFFs with Wiley Wiggins.

8. This Miata.

Level of Austin-ness: Spotting Robert Plant and Patty Griffin holding hands on South Congress.

7. An Austin police officer hanging out with Grumpy Cat during SXSW.

Level of Austin-ness: Thinking “Keep Austin Weird” isn’t weird enough.

6. Studying at the springs.

Level of Austin-ness: Making out in the red-carpeted upper loft of the women’s bathrooms at Donn’s Depot.

5. These T-shirts.

 

Level of Austin-ness: Making an elaborate diorama out of a brown paper bag for your Amy’s Ice Cream job application.

4. This stoned tortoise at Peter Pan mini golf.

Level of Austin-ness: Beating the Trudy’s two–Mexican Martini maximum by taking a cab to a different Trudy’s location.

3. Darryl’s statement of truth.

Level of Austin-ness: Drinking directly from the mini pitchers of beer at The Grand.

2. Ricky Williams teaching a yoga class.

Photo by Rodolfo Gonzalez / Austin American-Statesman / Via fuckyeahtx.tumblr.com

Level of Austin-ness: Owning burnt orange formalwear.

1. And Leslie (RIP).

White Hot Phoenix / Via whitehotphotoblog.com

Level of Austin-ness: Actually being a bat.

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