1. Snooki closed the night on Monday’s Dancing With The Stars premiere because obvi the producers knew that she is perfection.
2. She was perfect when she was clearly, inarguably the best part of “Jersey Shore” every week.
And no party could ever start without her.
3. Everyone thought they were making fun of her but actually she was in on the joke the whole time.
4. Snooki might actually be the most gifted comedian of our time.
5. When she perfectly articulated what we were all thinking.
7. When she personified all of the trials and tribulations of being a tiny meatball.
She showed us that for meatballs, ponies are like regular horses.
And that being tiny has some advantages, like getting to be the flyer on the cheerleading squad.
And being able to fit into any box.
10. When she loved ridiculous, fuzzy slippers so much that she made a business out of it.
11. When she set out a perfect plan for our country’s future.
12. Snooki understands when it’s appropriate to freak the fuck out.
13. And when to shrug off the haters.
14. When she rocked this, um, inspiring outfit.
15. Whenever she and her best friend JWoww are together.
And they provide an amazing example of what true loyalty looks like.
16. When she was self-aware enough to understand her own strengths and weaknesses.
17. But never, ever lost her self-confidence.
18. Girl values herself.
19. Whenever she goes to a baseball game.
21. When she cleans up nice…
But she still looks amazing without any makeup at all.
22. When she got super fit before and after her pregnancy.
But did it right, getting totally buff rather than stick-thin.
23. She’s always super comfortable with her sexuality.
24. Whenever her new family is ridiculously adorable.
26. Basically, Snooki is all of us IRL.
27. People doubted whether she could be taken seriously on Dancing With The Stars, but she nailed it.
- At least three people – including a police officer – died in a shooting at a Planned Parenthood in Colorado Springs. The suspect is in police custody. ›
- At least 15 people were killed after a suicide bomber attacked a Shiite Muslim procession of hundreds of people in Nigeria. ›
- And how well do you know what happened in the news this week? Take our quiz. ›