1. Someone call the ambulance, I don’t know if Anton Chekhov will recover.
2. EZRA [just got a] POUND[ing].
3. Someone’s gonna need a ShakesBEER.
4. Ralph Waldo Emerson: respected essayist, lecturer, poet and…
5. Edgar Allen OooOOOooooh.
6. Uh-oh, can someone check on Emily Dickinson?
7. If you haven’t ostracized D.H. Lawrence, you better treat these wounds.
8. Joseph Heller’s first-degree burns need some attention!
10. James What-A-Dickey sears the sensitive flesh of Robert Frost himself.
11. John Steinbeck’s Of Mice And Men Who Need Some Aloe Vera For That Burn
12. Jack Kerouac is On The Road to the ICU!
13. Walt Whitman is probably wearing that coat to protect himself from jabs such as these…
14. More like Withering Heights, amIrite Emily Brontë?
15. Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, virtually cremated.
- David Fry, the last of the Oregon wildlife refuge occupiers, has surrendered to the FBI, ending a 40-day protest.
- Physicists have found gravitational waves: wrinkles in space-time that could open up a new way to see the universe 🔭
- Time for Democratic presidential debate number six: Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders will face each other in Wisconsin tonight 🇺🇸