1. Before the wine tour.
2. When you arrive at the first winery.
3. As you're tasting your first wine.
4. As they're explaining the wines to you.
"I definitely understand all this scientific talk and I definitely don't want you to just pour me another glass of wine."
5. As you pretend to be able to smell all the things they're telling you are in the wine.
6. As they offer you the bucket to spit the wine into.
7. As you're leaving the first winery.
8. As you're on your way to the second winery.
9. At the second winery.
"I'm just having such a good day, you guys."
10. When they give you a really tiny taste of something.
11. When the wine is goooooooood.
12. When the wine is terrible.
13. When you have a definite buzz on and it's the middle of the afternoon.
14. When it's time for lunch.
"Hello can I have one of everything on your menu please? And also can you not look at me while I eat it, please? Also can I have a glass of Riesling thank you."
15. When you sober up a little.
"Well this is the worst."
16. When you try to undo that at the third winery.
"Yep yep yep yep yep this is better."
17. When your tour guide tells you there's time for a fourth winery.
"YES PLEASE MORE WINE PLEASE YOU BEAUTIFUL ANGEL TAKE ME THERE."
18. When you're fucked.
19. When you decide to take 400 drunk selfies.
20. When you're really fucked.
21. When you feel a little sick in the car.
22. When it's time to go home.
23. ...and when you wake up the next day.
