I eat a whole sleeve of Oreos
Devour a whole bag of chips
Go to town on a can of Pringles
Eat. All. The Wheat Thins
Make off with all the mini donuts
Don't leave a single fry at the bottom of the bag
Double down on a, erhh, Double Down
Eat the whole pizza by myself
Make a drunk run to Taco Bell
Get an extra slice of pie
Oh who am I kidding, it was totally 2
But it's OK because I just had one of those days
I'll totally work out tomorrow
And hit the gym extra hard
To work off all those extra calories
Because that's what I always tell myself, right?