1. Film a sex tape with a quasi-famous singer
You’re currently on the Z-List. It’s the first step in getting media attention. Don’t worry, you don’t have to stay with the singer.
2. Befriend a socialite
It’s key to meeting new people. Don’t worry, you don’t have to stay friends.
3. Land a reality show
Good job you made it to level 3. Don’t worry, you’re not required to act - just sit there.
4. Pose for Playboy
This is a tricky one. Not always recommended. Don’t worry, you don’t actually have to pose full frontal. It’s all about getting media attention.
5. Date up (Athlete-edition)
This is a big jump into C-List territory. Don’t worry, you don’t have to date long.
6. Marry up (on TV)
It’s all about the ratings. Don’t worry, you don’t have to stay together forever. 72 days is about right.
7. Get rid of your lame friends
Trim the fat. You’re about to hit it big time! Don’t worry, you don’t have to trim any real fat (working out is a bitch).
8. Date up (Superstar-edition)
Can you smell it? The A-List is within reach. Don’t worry, you only have to date longer than your previous marriage. (Thank goodness it was a short one!)
9. Work the red carpet
The higher the profile of the event, the better. Cannes Film Festival is always a good start. Don’t worry, you don’t have to know how to speak French.
10. Prove you are in love
It’s key to being accepted into the A-List. They have to think you are there for love and not for money. Don’t worry, you don’t really have to love him. Duh!
11. Make friends with his friends
“Oh hey, Bey, we are like totally BFF’s now.” Don’t worry, she doesn’t really think of you as a friend.
12. Work it
Congrats! Super achievement unlocked. You made it to the A-List or whatever deluded version of it you find yourself in. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get a real job or anything.