5 Times The Internet Broke My Heart And Stamped On My Dreams

Not everything you learn on the Internet is good. I should stop reading.

1. That time it told me that cute little otters rape baby seals to death

Via iflscience.com

Yes. They really do. And you know what else? Dolphins are jerks too. And penguins.

I used to love 'Happy Feet.'

2. That time I found out that Santa was green and Coca-Cola made him red

Via news.bbc.co.uk

3. That time I was reading articles on the National Geographic website and found out vanilla ice cream is made from beaver butts

Via newswatch.nationalgeographic.com

Well, let me rephrase. Some vanilla ice cream is made with castoreum and castoreum comes from glands right by a beaver's bum.

That's enough to put me off both vanilla ice cream and reading National Geographic.

4. That time I read online that Mark Consuelos got married

And I was all like, "Damn you, Mark! I thought you'd wait for me!"

5. That time I stumbled upon a review of the Dexter finale before I'd watched it and I just couldn't stop myself reading and then I knew everything that had happened and it was all ruined for me.

Via theguardian.com