1. You can't shake the terrible feeling that you are doing just fine without an S.O.
2. And a weird realisation is creeping up on you that you don't have to find someone just because society expects you to.
3. Since you aren't spending on a bae, you have TOO MUCH MONEY lying around to treat yourself.
4. And don't even get me started on all the food you don't have to share. It's the fucking worst.
5. People keep asking why you are ~still~ single despite being hot as balls.
6. You cannot get yourself to settle for anyone less than A-level amazing.
7. You have so many people to flirt with, it can be physically taxing.
8. It's exhausting to order whatever you want for dinner without considering another person's tastes.
9. You can't decide what position to SPRAWL in on the bed you have all to yourself.
10. You have upset many friends by not feigning interest in the "potential set ups" they suggest.
11. The abject lack of fucks you give about constant personal grooming has strained your relationship with your parlour aunty.
12. You just have SO MUCH FREEDOM and SO MUCH FREE TIME. It’s a truly dangerous combination.
13. All the free time to read and watch shit has made you TOO culturally aware and interesting.
So, I guess you should seek help for a better life.
