1. Because coffee shops have got completely out of control.
2. And they can't even be bothered to be nice to their customers any more.
3. In fact, they're genuinely just telling them to fuck off now.
4. People on the tube can't be nice to each other either.
@kflorish
Some actual shitlark decided to give these business cards out. Fire them into the sun.
5. In fact, Londoners don't have a clue how to commute any more.
6. They've converted all the toilets into artisan gin bars.
7. And the shithole carparks have become cocktail bars.
8. Dalston people have totally ruined the holy name of box wine.
9. And a bloody water-only bar opened.
10. Then some terrible entrepreneurs bastardised the word pub to crowdfund Brew, a pub that serves only tea.
11. Because Londoners can't drink any more without it taking place in some sort of novelty pseudo Disneyland.
12. Yes, Londoners have completely lost the plot with regards to what is considered a fun activity.
13. And of course you can now go to a morning rave in the Cereal Killer Café...
14. Which is made even worse by the book featuring this list of "witty comebacks".
15. An indoor ballpit for adults opened.
16. But at least it didn't get cancelled like the "epic Slip & Slide".
17. A gallery of selfies is set to open in Shoreditch.
18. And a museum opened that was meant to be about East End women but ended up being about Jack the Ripper.
