The Road To Hell Is Paved With Graffiti Penises

Centralia’s underground coal veins have smoldered since 1962. The ghost town’s highways have since become a strange graffiti message board.

1. In 1962, volunteer firefighters burned a landfill in Centralia, PA, not knowing that they’d ignite a whole network of coal veins under the town.

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2. Pavements buckled. Temperatures rose. Sinkholes clawed out swaths of sidewalks, spewing carbon monoxide.

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3. The town was evacuated and stripped of its zip code.

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And in the years since, Centralia’s infamy has attracted swarms of disaster tourists, urban decay photographers, bored teens armed with aerosol cans.

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As you’d expect, the road to Centralia now looks like:

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Bart’s handsy summer camp director uncle.

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Where are the dicks even leading us?

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Wow, rude.

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Wow, hella rude.

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Not even true though.

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You’re an adult now, Pacman. You gobble whatever you want.

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5. This is starting to feel like the internet.

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Someone started a comment thread.

A scathing review of Philip Roth.

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7. There are even banner ads.

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Anonymous gripes and pleas.

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It’s alright, bb.

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9. A smattering of kindness.

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Mostly, a lot of wilderness, cracked asphalt, blistered roads gone to seed.

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Temperatures exceed 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit at the heart of the underground blaze. The coals will continue burning for another 250 years.

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Read more about the Centralia coal fires here and here. The town’s remaining 8 residents promise you the town itself is quite boring and beg you to leave them be.

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