The Road To Hell Is Paved With Graffiti Penises

Centralia’s underground coal veins have smoldered since 1962. The ghost town’s highways have since become a strange graffiti message board.

1. In 1962, volunteer firefighters burned a landfill in Centralia, PA, not knowing that they’d ignite a whole network of coal veins under the town.

2. Pavements buckled. Temperatures rose. Sinkholes clawed out swaths of sidewalks, spewing carbon monoxide.

3. The town was evacuated and stripped of its zip code.

And in the years since, Centralia’s infamy has attracted swarms of disaster tourists, urban decay photographers, bored teens armed with aerosol cans.

As you’d expect, the road to Centralia now looks like:

Bart’s handsy summer camp director uncle.

Where are the dicks even leading us?

Wow, hella rude.

Not even true though.

You’re an adult now, Pacman. You gobble whatever you want.

5. This is starting to feel like the internet.

Someone started a comment thread.

A scathing review of Philip Roth.

7. There are even banner ads.

Anonymous gripes and pleas.

It’s alright, bb.

9. A smattering of kindness.

Mostly, a lot of wilderness, cracked asphalt, blistered roads gone to seed.

Temperatures exceed 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit at the heart of the underground blaze. The coals will continue burning for another 250 years.

Read more about the Centralia coal fires here and here. The town’s remaining 8 residents promise you the town itself is quite boring and beg you to leave them be.

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