Vladimir Putin: The Most Interesting Man in the World

He is also Chuck Norris.

1.

"I don't always wear hats, but when I do I have personally killed the bears used to make them."

2.

"I don't always hang out with commoners, but when I do women's shirts fall off when I enter the room."

3.

"I don't always ride motorcycles, but when I do I run over Hell's Angels and drink motor oil for breakfast."

4.

"I don't always go fishing, but when I do the fish leap right into my hands in sheer terror."

5.

"I don't always go Formula 1 Racing, but when I do I swerve into Vettel and make his car flip 20 times."

6.

"I don't always go scuba diving, but when I do ancient artifacts swim to me."

7.

"I don't always drink tea, but when I do the tea leaps from the pot to my cup to touch my lips."

8.

"I don't always go hang-gliding, but when I do the winds shift in my favor when I whistle to them."

9.

"I don't always hang out with horses, but when I do they whisper to me."

10.

"I don't always do judo, but when I do my opponents' heads crack open before they hit the ground."

11.

"I don't always go to the firing range, but when I do the paper targets curl in fear."

12.

"I don't always officiate arm wrestling matches, but when I do I win anyways."

13.

"I don't always hang out with baby chicks, but when I do I hypnotize them to quack."

14.

"I don't always go to 3-D movies, but when I do I watch them in 4-D."

15.

"I don't always do finger guns, but when I do they shoot bullets."

16.

"I don't always hang out with walruses, but when I do I am the walrus."

17.

"I don't always use the Force, but when I do I choke Darth Vader."

18.

"I don't always hang out by the water, but when I do the ocean levels sink by the mere touch of my hand."

19.

"I don't always pick my nose, but when I do I don't have to because boogers leap from my nostrils in fear."

20.

"I don't always drink beer, but when I do --" wait, nevermind.