1. You’ll never be the man you thought you’d be.
2. The sand is trickling through the hourglass.
3. Your dreams are gathering dust.
4. You’re never going to land a 360.
5. Never going to nail a head spin.
6. Date a supermodel.
7. Drive a Ferrari.
8. Play for your favourite team.
9. Or visit the gym again.
10. The beer belly is here to stay.
11. Wrinkles too, and they’ll get worse.
12. Let's not even discuss the grey hair.
13. Secretly, you're rather relieved.
14. You hate going out drinking.
15. Your dancing days are behind you.
16. You don’t even like getting drunk anymore.
17. You can’t handle hangovers.
18. You’re over one-night-stands.
19. You’ve taken your last walk of shame.
Seriously, never again.
20. Now you look forward to dinner parties.
21. Enjoy quiet nights in.
22. And are slowly turning into a morning person.
23. You love going to work.
24. Read the personal finance pages.
25. Are done following fashion.
26. Don't get modern music.
27. And don't care what anyone else thinks.
28. You’re actually ready to settle down.
29. Seems you're also cracking terrible jokes.
30. Yep, you’re ready to be a Dad.
