19 Reasons Why This Epic Beard Is Worth $1 Million

It is billed as one of the most valuable fields of facial follicles on Earth. Now anyone with a spare million bucks can own it.

1. An Australian is selling his beard.

“This is one of the most valuable fields of facial follicles in the world. Not only a luscious and captivating neck-mane of rich mahogany and buoyant masculinity, this beard has saved countless amounts of lives.”

2. This is Jimmy Niggles, who has been growing his extraordinary beard since witnessing the death of a close friend, Wes Bonny, from skin cancer aged 26.

3. Jimmy’s face fur is the key driver behind Beard Season, an invitation for gentlemen to grow beards and become ambassadors in the fight against melanoma – one of the deadliest cancers in Australia.

4. He is on a one man mission to persuade people to take life-saving skin cancer checks.

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5. Everywhere he goes, Mr Niggles enlists other bearded men to help spread the word.

6. Other handsome, bearded men.

7. This is Mango.

8. This is TD.

9. This is Jag.

10. This is Josh.

11. This is Karl.

12. This is Benny.

13. This is Robbo.

14. This is Jason.

15. This is Slade.

16. This is Karrie ‘The Pine’ Klein.

17. Tourists are welcome. This is Joulupukki the Finn.

18. And this is Costa (hitherto Australia’s most famous beard).

19. It’s quite a beard huh? Doing such valuable work.

What would you do with Jimmy’s beard?

Brock Elbank / Via

“As the owner you may have the beard shaved by an expert team of taxidermists, art restorers and forensic scientists. Painstakingly reconstructed and mounted within a framed glass case. Or, you may choose to have it remain on the host, and use it (within limits) as you see fit.”

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