1. Forever in their noisy neighbours’ shadows, Canada and New Zealand have decided to form the proud nation of New Zanada.
2. New Zanadians are officially Earth’s nicest people.
3. They are generally peaceful towards their Ameristralian neighbours, until it comes to THE ONLY TWO SPORTS THAT MATTER.
4. Warmed up with a good old-fashioned ice hockey haka.
5. Haka hockey = the ultimate New Zanadian sport.
6. That and pointing out who brews the better beer.
7. New Zanada’s national animal is the ferocious Kiwoose.
9. Don’t mess: It could suck your heart out and wear it on its antlers as a trophy!
11. Also, part of lower Zanada looks exactly like upper Zanada.
12. Discussions are underway to work out how to pipe maple syrup from lower to upper New Zanada.
14. A true marriage of equals, New Zanada tolerates none of the overwhelming North American bias that characterises Ameristralia.
According to New Zanadanians, 99% of Ameristralians are just Americans.
15. Instead, citizens pledge their allegiance to the first nation of hurling.
16. New Zanada’s desire to be recognised as a nation is not without difficulties.
17. But these will be overcome with the help of New Zanada’s hottest men.
18. New Zanada folks: a marriage of equals.
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