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    18 The Stages Of Your Friday Night As Told By "Juno"

    Friday Night: Let's Get Weird!!!!!!

    1. You and your friends call each other to go out.





    Yussss i've been waiting since last weekend for the weekend!!!!

    2. You have that one turd friend who wants to stay home.

    3. You prepare adequately and get out the door.


    4. You arrive at your destination and get drunk. Commencing Phase 1 of drunkenness: No control of your body.

    5. From across the room you spot the love of your life... or so you think.

    6. Your friend finds you and pulls you away, being the biggest cock-block ever, and you leave.

    7. You wander around finding weird shit on the street. Phase 2: Everything is amazing!!!

    8. Phase 3: The alcohol has caught up with your bladder and you have to tinkle.

    9. You buy more alcohol and get even more shitfaced. Phase 4: you begin spouting useless jargon.

    10. Phase 5: your friends tell you their life goals.

    11. Phase 6: Something that's been bothering you about them comes up, and you feel its your duty to tell them.

    12. Phase 7 of drunkenness: You get sappy and have a heart to heart.


    13. You go home and thus commences your hangover.

    14. You desperately wish you hadn't gone out, and now you have more respect for your turd friend who didn't wanna go in the first place.

    15. ALL NOISES MUST CEASE IMMEDIATELY!!!

    16. You realize what you did last night and you wish you could forget.

    17. But in the end you don't give a shit and are glad you went out.

    18. But you're still going to track down and punch the one true love of your life who never gave you their number.