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What's the wallpaper on your phone and/or computer?
On my phone, it’s a picture of my kids making kooky faces and my computer has the default Mac star field, because I’ve never found anything more attractive than that and I’m sure I never will.
When you walk into a bar, what do you typically order?These days I tell the bartender to make me a non-alcoholic cocktail and usually use the words “surprise me”. As long as they don’t surprise me with alcohol (which has never happened) the results are always delicious.
What's the one word you are guilty of using too often?There are little reaction words I throw around too casually, words like “wow,” “weird” and “crazy.” They’re habitual and I use them in reaction to some pretty mundane situations. Trying to curb that.
What is the last thing you searched for on Google?“How [to] make whipped cream.” It turns out you have to whip cream.
Who is the last person that called or texted you?I’m doing some guest work right now on the Fox comedy Grandfathered and I just got a text from someone on the production alerting me that my 6:48 a.m. call time has been changed to a 6:30 a.m call time. Horrible news.
What was the last awkward situation you were in and how did you handle it?Unless I am safely within the walls of my home, I feel like every situation is at least a little bit awkward. I just soldier on and try not to do anything that will make anyone, including myself, hate me. What else can you do?
When is the last time you went to a theater?The last time I went to a theater was the night I performed an evening of nonsense in Portland. But the last time I went to SEE something in a theater it was a great movie called People, Places, Things starring Jermaine Clement. He did a Q&A afterwards and was really funny and charming and he’s great in the movie too.
What TV show should everyone be watching?Review, silly! If you have’t seen any of it, start from the beginning of Season 1, which is streaming someplace, probably www.cc.com or on the Comedy Central app? Or buy it iTunes if you got the scratch, daddy!
MSNBC. I put it on after my wife goes to bed sometimes. It’s totally empty calories, as is all cable news, but I like hearing people drone on pointlessly about politics sometimes.
What's the first CD you bought?I know the first LP I bought was Rod Stewart’s Do Ya Think I’m Sexy. I was in the 2nd grade. Why am I admitting to that? The first CD in our home was purchased by my older brother and it was The Who, Live at Leeds. We listened to that sooo many times.
What is the one food you cannot resist?I have a very hard time passing up any kind of chocolate unless it looks really cheap or gross or processed or it’s mixed with dumb shit like hazelnuts and whatnot. But high quality chocolate in any form — cookie, cupcake, bar, bunny, dripping from a fountain — will get me every time.
What music are you currently listening to?I’m in the middle of an REM kick, revisiting old favorites and checking out some of the later stuff I missed. Also the Chemical Brothers new album. Oh! I also just rediscovered an old favorite song called "You’ll Never Do It Baby" by Lyres. That opening drum groove is the only drum groove you’ll ever need.
What movie makes you laugh the most?I haven’t seen This Is Spinal Tap in a while. I don’t know how much I’d laugh at it today but I saw that in a theater in college and I’ve never had a better time at a movie. And I wasn’t even high and it wasn’t even the first time I’d seen it.
My aforementioned older brother was just telling me that if he walks into a Starbucks and there’s any kind of a line, he suddenly thinks to himself, “Why would I waste any of the time I have left on earth standing here doing nothing?” and he walks out. I’m not that existentially impatient, but I relate. Waiting when I want to be somewhere else can make me bananas.
What's your favorite day of the year?Sorry for the obvious answer but Christmas is pretty reliably great. I also get awfully excited about my birthday, so I’m giving you the two most obvious answers. But, really, what did you expect?
What was your first online screen name?My experience with screen names has usually been that the first three I try are already taken so I come up with something totally nonsensical out of frustration, like Glormsmanal8 or flippgastric95 and then I can never log in again because there’s no way to remember something that random and stupid.
What's your favorite emoji?The nose.
Pick one: Kittens or puppies?Puppies.
New York.
Comedy or drama?Drama.
Bacon or Nutella?Bacon.
Coffee or tea?Coffee.
'80s or ‘90s?80s.
Britney or Christina?No opinion.
NSYNC or BSB?Even less of an opinion.
Beyoncé or Rihanna?Britney.
Hannah Montana or Lizzie McGuire?I have no idea who Lizzie McGuire is and all I know about Hannah Montana is that she’s a fictitious character who used to be played by someone who’s name, any time I hear it in any context, makes me exhausted. So, Lizzie McGuire?
And finally: tell us a secret.I didn’t learn how to tie my shoes properly until I was in my 30s. Before that, I employed the controversial “two rabbit ear method.” Feels good to get that off my chest. Thanks Buzzfeed.
Watch Andy on Review, Thursdays at 10 p.m. on Comedy Central.
