1. For the uninitiated, Zlatan Ibrahimović is a footballer who has casually been scoring goals like these for years.
2. And it is high time we took a moment to appreciate everything Zlatan has done, on and off the pitch.
3. Like the time he accurately rated Zlatan on a scale of zero to ten.
Was there ever any doubt?
4. Or when he honestly told World Cup winner Mario Götze what was on Zlatan's mind.
And then proceeded to smack Andrea Pirlo right in the face.
5. When he stared down a defender for trying to push Zlatan.
Now he knows.
6. Or the time he showed us that only Zlatan decides when Zlatan's training begins.
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7. Oh, yeah, and the goals too. The goaaaals.
8. Even when he's not bludgeoning the opposition, he's still showing us just how sublime Zlatan is.
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No wonder a lot of people think he's as good as Cristiano Ronaldo.
9. Not just with a football at his feet, but anything at all. Like A PIECE OF CHEWING GUM, FOR EXAMPLE?!
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10. How about that time he used his apparent kung-fu training to score a goal?
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11. And all those other times when he did it again and again?!
12. And then used it again as a reasonable means of communicating with his teammates.
That's right. By karate kicking them when they least expect it. Because Zlatan.
13. Again...
14. And again...
15. And again.
16. Let's just remind you this is the guy who told Arsene Wenger that he doesn't do trials.
17. Can we also talk about the fact that he has his own freakin' app?
18. And the fact that he also has the coolest virtual avatar ever?
19. Oh right, we were talking about the goals. Like the time he practically assisted his own goal.
20. Or the time he scored a goal almost without meaning to.
But of course he meant to. Because he's Zlatan.
21. And of course, when he achieved this moment of footballing perfection.
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The commentary says it all.
Ibracadabra, folks.
