1. “Oh, interesting. I’ve never heard of it.”
Yeah, well, you couldn’t get in anyway.
2. “Wow, my high school was bigger than that!”
Yes, I am aware.
3. “Did you guys even have a football team?”
Uh, obviously. I went to one of their games once, and saw a whole touchdown!
4. “So what does this education qualify you for?”
Well, I’m a great writer, and have excellent problem solving skills, and I can recite the opening paragraph of A Tale of Two Cities, so… I DON’T FRIGGIN KNOW.
5. “That’s so weird you lived on campus all four years.”
Well if your dorms were like palaces, you would have, too.
6. “You took art class in college? Did you do, like, paper mache?”
Seriously, my studio art class was more time consuming than my organic chemistry class. And yes, I took both.
7. “But what about the grad students?”
Nope. Didn’t have any.
8. “You paid how much for your education?”
Didn’t anyone teach you it’s rude to talk about money? Oh right, of course not, you were too busy learning practical skills.
9. “You actually had to go to class?”
Well, yes, when there’s only 12 students the professor notices your absence.
10. “You took philosophy courses?”
I study, therefore I am.
11. “And film courses? Did you just like, watch movies?”
We watched and analyzed movies, asshole.
12. “And gender studies courses? What does that even mean?”
Did you even go to college?
13. “It sounds like you went to summer camp for four years!”
Ok, sure we had carnivals and fro-yo machines and puppies to pet for de-stressing, but we worked really hard!!
14. “So what can you do with a degree in [insert humanities major here]?”
Would you like to look at my resume?