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12 Signs That You Are Probably A Muslim Living In America #MuslimProblems

Yeah, you were born here, or maybe you moved here very early in life. The point is you are both an American and a Muslim.

1. Knowing the vegetarian version of everything at fast food restaurants because the only meat you can eat is Halal meat, A.K.A. “Muslim Kosher.”

“Yeah, I’ll get a chalupa, replace the meat with beans… and a taco, no meat… yes beans.” I now hate beans.

2. When your friends of other faiths automatically assume you know Arabic.

I know like 3 words… Salaam! Allah! and uh… Muslim!

3. Avoiding to read the ingredients on anything. Because if you don’t read it there is no gelatin.

Starbursts! and Lifesavers! and Skittles! Oh my!

4. Feeling a little bit awkward at airports even though you know you are totally innocent.

5. Knowing all of the secret quiet places in malls and/or public places.

Because you’ve got a meeting with God, 5 times a day. Everyday. For the rest of your life.

6. The only people who actually use their compass app on their phones are hikers and you.

“Which way is North East? I’ve got to pray.”

7. Seeing another fellow stranger Muslim and feeling obliged for you to acknowledge each other’s presence.

  • quick smile * look down * walk away fast *

8. When friends of other faiths ask why a watering can/genie lamp is in your bathroom.

“Cleanliness is the key to faith…” don’t judge me.

9. When you say you’ve never tasted bacon and your friends react like:

Does turkey bacon count? …No? Okay.

10. That moment you stop yourself from saying “InshAllah”, “MashAllah”, or “SubhanAllah” …

…because you’re having a conversation with a non-Muslim.

11. Having to explain to your teachers/employer the difference between the two Eid’s and why it’s like getting to celebrate Christmas twice a year.

And, yes you need the day off, maybe even the week? :)
Because it’s rainin’ Eidi all day errrday!

12. Having two wardrobes, and looking great in both:

Swag. Islamic Swag.
Most of the girls got their nice jilbabs and abaya’s… but you know we can rock that jeans and sparkly top!
And guys, I see you, too! Wearin’ that thawb/thobe like you own the place!

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