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<b>"Is it worse to kill 15 people or wear a fedora" -Chelsea Peretti</b>

"Is it worse to kill 15 people or wear a fedora" -Chelsea Peretti

Pick A Dude Wearing A Fedora And We'll Tell You How Dark Your Soul Is

Pick a Fedora Wearing Dude

Woohoo! We could grope and clutch for ages and never find the soul inside your human shell. Yay!

A Black Abyss

Ah, you have that special glint in your eye that says "I'm dead on the inside."

Dark as Night

Hello, soulless! There's something about your aura today that I just can't place. Ah, I know! It's black, like your soul!

A Black Void

Sometimes people are apprehensive to get close to you, you know, because they're afraid to be swallowed whole by the Black Hole that is your sole. Hey! We kinda rhymed with that last one!

A Black Hole

You know, on the outside people may mistake you for a sinister psychopath--and they'd be right! I guess we all have our vices, right?

A Black Pit of Despair

You got Pitch Black! And we're not talking about the cinematic masterpiece featuring Vin Diesel. We're talking about that life force of which you are lacking: YOUR SOUL!!! Wooohooo!

Pitch Black

Wow, has anyone ever told you how much you remind them of all their most terrifying nightmares? It's uncanny. Anyway, we should do brunch sometime.

Jet Black

Bullseye! And by that we mean when we look into your eyes, there's no soul to be seen--like a bull! \*boops your nose\*

100% Black

About 3% of the world's population could be considered a sociopath. Guess who won the lottery on that one! YOU, silly! Aren't statistics fun?

Black as Death

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Pick A Dude Wearing A Fedora And We'll Tell You How Dark Your Soul Is

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