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1. Makers Hasbro describe it as 'the classic game of global domination'.
2. In fact it's the best board game in the world ever.
E-V-E-RRRRRR
3. It requires intelligence, skill, patience, and just the right amount of luck.
It's also one of the easiest ways ever to make new friends, spend some quality time with your best buds....
....and completely ruin every romantic relationship you'll ever have.
4. Which is why when you say: "Hey guys, let's play RISK!', your friends are like....
5. But also the reason your girlfriend is all....
6. And your boyfriend is like....
7. Because they know what's about to happen....
8. And you never did find that blue horse after the last time it got a bit.....
9. Then there was the time you went out after three rounds.
10. Still, you're going to give it a go.
11. While dropping subtle hints about what'll happen if they start getting ideas above their station
12. It's around this point - before the first die has been rolled - that someone will suggest forging some kind of alliance, or pact.
13. To which the only sensible reaction is....
14. Followed by....
15. And if they DARE to offer you any 'impartial advice', then it's...
16. By now it's starting to get quite tense. The yellow team in particular looks a bit....
17. Not that they're alone. Green's got it just as bad...
18. Even red's a tad edgy. Judging by what's going on under the table....
19. While in your head you're all....
20. Despite the face saying...
21. And you can't help wondering....
22. Now some genius announces: 'We've been playing it wrong all along!'
They immediately DEMAND South America, India, and Kamchatchka as compensation for their entirely fictional losses.
INCREDIBLY, everyone else agrees.
But only because YOU'RE the one who's winning.
23. That's right. No two ways about it. Because you're definitely NOT....
24. Not that you're too surprised. After all, haters gonna hate.
25. Which is why you feel comfortable saying....
26. Congratulations, idiots. Your mums must be very proud.
27. In fact, seeing as you're so cool with it, maybe it's time to break that kinda, not-really, not-actually-legally-binding, I NEVER SAID THAT! pact with the Devil we made eight HOURS AGO and launch an utterly vindictive, semi-suicidal revenge attack.
I mean, it's not like you stand a chance of actually winning.
And I have got five cards to cash in.
That's fine, right?
28. Here goes!
29. Bring it!
30. And while the big boys and girls are playing, the rest of you goons can wipe yourselves out over Indonesia. Two extra armies? Ooh, I'm really scared....
31. Leaving YOU to go on a final death-or-glory spree through Europe, into the Americas, out of Africa, across Asia and into Australasia.
And all from your evil genius-style volcanic lair...in Greenland.
32. And that's it! YOU'VE DONE IT! You've conquered the bloody world!!!!
33. Well DONE.
34. Brah-vo Sir/Ma'am!
35. You deserve some kind of MEDAL.
36. So I guess now would be the perfect time to call ALL your friends and tell them....
37. Oh wait. You can't.
Because you only HAVE five friends.
Or should that be HAD?
38. Because after tonight's performance they HATE you.
39. Still, when life hands you lemons...
40. That's what ONLINE Risk is for.
41. Which should at least leave you with the extra cash to buy this...
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