22 Things Renaissance Faires Do Better Than The Real World

All these “modern technologies” and “progressive social norms” are great, but there are a few things the olde worlde had figured out better than us. Thankfully, Ren Faires are there to bring us back.

1. Food.

Nearly everything is eaten with your hands, from bacon on a stick to cheesecake on a stick to turkey legs on a stick (actually bones).

Bradley Gordon / Via

Food is just better on sticks.

2. Booze.

Not only does wine made from honey exist, it’s called mead and you can get it at Renaissance Faires. It is criminal that it’s not more widely available.

Frank Kovalchek / Creative Commons

3. Bartenders.

When the bartender at your local watering hole hears you’re having your first drink, does he make an elaborate oral sex joke out of it and get everyone to yell “Huzzah!” for you when you’re done?

Or does he pour you half a shot of watered-down well vodka?

4. Hats.

Frank Kovalchek / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: 72213316@N00

While we’ve been pretending fedoras work on anyone other than the employees of Sterling Cooper Draper Price, Renaissance Faires have been rocking tri-corner pirate hats for years.

5. Coffee.

Where would you rather go: A Starbucks where snarky baristas will roll their eyes at you, or ye olde Cappuccino Inn?

6. Smoothies.

Smoothie King, same question.

7. Politics.

Joppo Kelin / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: simalem

When the Ren Faire’s Queen of England and King of Spain have a disagreement, they don’t send diplomatic envoys or hold boring debates. They get a bunch of serfs to dress up and chess-battle each other, hilariously.

8. Sports.

Watching two jousters ride full tilt at each other on horseback with spears beats the hell out of any Super Bowl in recent memory.

Seriously, can we make this a sport again? If “horse dancing” counts, then this is a shoe-in.

9. Family crests.

This brony crest kicks way more ass than whatever fleur-de-lis shield your family had five generations ago.

10. Personal heralds.

The Q / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: theqspeaks

Why did we stop having people announce when we arrived anywhere? Whose idea was that?

11. Children’s activities.

Archery > hopscotch.

13. Punishment.

Quinn Dombrowski / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: quinnanya

14. Music.

Rowan / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: rowan72

Go to one Pub Sing and you’ll get it.

15. Work.

David R Tribble / Creative Commons / Via


16. Living rooms.

Joan / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: pipdiddly

This is straight-up lounging. The best you can do on a pull out couch is chilling.

17. Etsy.

Alexey Sergeev / Via

Tons of local craft-makers and artists set up permanent huts to sell their unique, one-of-a-kind wares in.

Alexey Sergeev / Via

It’s like an Etsy you can walk through.

18. Church.

Alexey Sergeev / Via

Whatever you worship, it’s better to do it here.

21. Boners.

(It’s a codpiece.)

22. Boobs.

Patty / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: psexypsychic

Hope you’re a fan, because there are corsets EVERYWHERE.

Check out more articles on!

This post was created by a user and has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

  Your Reaction?


    Here Are The Top Stories
    • More debris – believed to be part of the missing aircraft MH370 – has been found washed up on the Indian Ocean island of Réunion on Sunday.
    • Cilla Black, the legendary English singer and TV star, has died at her home in Spain, according to local police. She was 72-years-old.
    • A conservation group at Oxford University told BuzzFeed News that media reports of Jericho's death were not true and that the 11-year-old lion was "alive and well".
    Get The News App

    Hot Buzz

    Dear Teens, What Will Be The Next Big, Popular Thing?


    What’s The Greatest Drunk Text You’ve Ever Sent?


    Now Buzzing