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Why Your Obsession With Inbox Zero Is Ruining Your Life

No email must be left unread. NO EMAIL MUST BE LEFT UNREAD.

1. You wake up. You check your emails.

A HUNDRED AND THIRTY SIX!

2. You’re finding this news quite alarming.

Sherlock / BBC

3. You must go through them all right now.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK.

4. There you go. You’ve DONE IT. Now relax…

And why have you made such an effort to do all of this?

5. Because this screen is the best screen in the world.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

6. But what if you left your emails for a little bit?

Shutterstock

A couple of days for example. In fact, let’s make it a week.

7. Well your emails will start to build.

10. Before you know it, your inbox looks like this.

11. You feel dirty. You feel that nothing will be okay again until you read absolutely everything.

youtube.com / Via The Simpsons / 20th Century Fox / Gracie Films

12. What if you miss something really important?

13. What if you won the lottery and they emailed you about it but you never responded so they gave the money to your neighbour instead? IT COULD HAPPEN.

Getty Images / Angela Kelly

Matt Cardy / Getty Images

 

Clarification: it *might* happen.

14. What if you got an email from that crush who already knows you like them and is currently avoiding you?

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

Clarification: this won’t happen.

15. Let’s forget the fact that your emails are junk from companies you can’t be bothered to unsubscribe from.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

16. But what about clicking “mark as read”? You could….

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

You cannot and will not take this risk.

17. You even enjoy checking all the spam emails.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.

18. And the fact that everything is organised under five different tabs to save you no time whatsoever.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

19. It’s now going out of control. You think that you will never read all of your emails within your lifetime.

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20. But then you look at your mate’s phone.

What.

22. These are the inboxes of the people who are sitting next to you at work right now. Seriously.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

23. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

24. You corner everyone. How can they live their lives without getting their inbox to absolute zero?

Pool / Getty Images

25. But why don’t they click on ‘mark all as read’ and archive them? Could they be doing it because not archiving them weirdly keeps them on top of their emails?

BBC News / Via youtube.com

26. So you decide to follow their approach. Here is footage of you not sorting out your inbox, allowing the amount of unread emails to run into the tens of millions.

Arrested Development / Fox / Via tumblr.com

LOL JOKES YOU SPEND TEN HOURS SORTING OUT THE INBOX TILL IT IS ZERO.

27. Still, could be worse. You could be one of those people who NEVER CHECK THEIR PHONE NOTIFICATIONS.

28. How could they?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Mutant Enemy / Sandollar Television/ 20th Century Fox / Via gurl.com

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