1. You wake up. You check your emails.
A HUNDRED AND THIRTY SIX!
2. You’re finding this news quite alarming.
3. You must go through them all right now.
TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK.
4. There you go. You’ve DONE IT. Now relax…
And why have you made such an effort to do all of this?
5. Because this screen is the best screen in the world.
6. But what if you left your emails for a little bit?
A couple of days for example. In fact, let’s make it a week.
7. Well your emails will start to build.
11. You feel dirty. You feel that nothing will be okay again until you read absolutely everything.
12. What if you miss something really important?
13. What if you won the lottery and they emailed you about it but you never responded so they gave the money to your neighbour instead? IT COULD HAPPEN.
Clarification: it *might* happen.
14. What if you got an email from that crush who already knows you like them and is currently avoiding you?
Clarification: this won’t happen.
15. Let’s forget the fact that your emails are junk from companies you can’t be bothered to unsubscribe from.
16. But what about clicking “mark as read”? You could….
You cannot and will not take this risk.
17. You even enjoy checking all the spam emails.
Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.
18. And the fact that everything is organised under five different tabs to save you no time whatsoever.
19. It’s now going out of control. You think that you will never read all of your emails within your lifetime.
22. These are the inboxes of the people who are sitting next to you at work right now. Seriously.
24. You corner everyone. How can they live their lives without getting their inbox to absolute zero?
25. But why don’t they click on ‘mark all as read’ and archive them? Could they be doing it because not archiving them weirdly keeps them on top of their emails?
26. So you decide to follow their approach. Here is footage of you not sorting out your inbox, allowing the amount of unread emails to run into the tens of millions.
LOL JOKES YOU SPEND TEN HOURS SORTING OUT THE INBOX TILL IT IS ZERO.
27. Still, could be worse. You could be one of those people who NEVER CHECK THEIR PHONE NOTIFICATIONS.
- The brother of beloved Zimbabwean lion Cecil has been shot and killed by a hunter. Cecil was killed last month.