There's now a professionals version of Bake Off, where we see teams of pastry chefs compete.
Presented by Tom Kerridge, there's a similar format to Bake Off here, but it feels so so so very, very different to the original. Why? Let me explain.
1. In Bake Off there are recipes that make you think, "Oh my, that looks easy. I will go and bake one."
In Crème de la Crème the pastry chefs have such ambitious bakes that most of the time you have no bloody clue what anything is and you sit there shouting "FUCK THAT" whilst eating some crisps.
2. In Bake Off the contestants come across as being really rather sweet and cheerful as the weeks go by.
In Crème de la Crème...well, not so much.
3. In Bake Off the judges who make decisions are like nice relatives, which makes you feel warm and cosy.
In Crème de la Crème they sit on on THRONES *insert some joke about Jon Snow in Game of Thrones here*
4. In Bake Off the contestants get stressed but never seem to complain about being stressed on camera.
In Crème de la Crème they hate the camera when they're stressed and on occasion ask them to leave.
5. In Bake Off the judges don't care about the mess the bakers have created.
In Crème de la Crème they have a go at any of the pastry chefs who have any mess on their aprons.
6. In Bake Off the criticisms by judges are usually positive and constructive even if the bake is a mess.
On Crème de la Crème some creations look absolutely staggering, and then they are torn apart.
7. In Bake Off if the contestants don't do that well during a challenge, they react to it in a positive way.
On Crème de la Crème a bad review makes the contestants look as if you farted during their wedding vows.
8. In Bake Off the contestants congratulated each other when someone's bake was simply outstanding.
In Crème de la Crème, they slag each other's bakes.
This isn't the spirit of Bake Off.
Isn't that right, Mary?
