1.
When you're checking someone out and want to get sexy but also trying really hard to play it cool.
2.
When you open your bin and detect a bad whiff.
3.
And when you then realise your bin smells because your housemate never took the bin out.
4.
When you recognise someone you don't want to speak to, but then they come up for a chat.
5.
And they just won't stop talking.
6.
When you're watching Love Actually and you're anxious that the kid will not get to the airport in time.
7.
But then you watch the bit when he runs through airport security and you doubt the film's authenticity.
8.
When you're in a big meeting and a colleague is wasting your time by speaking in crap jargon.
9.
When you then realise that you've got coffee with a mate in 10 minutes and it is awkward to leave.
10.
When you're left out of a conversation because you haven't watched Orange is the New Black yet.
11.
And your mates are talking at once on WhatsApp and you don't understand what is going on.
12.
When the BT guy said he would arrive at 10am to fix the broadband but then didn't arrive till 6pm.
13.
So you wait at a café and spend six hours thinking about the poor choices you've made in life so far.
14.
When you see someone you don't like pulling someone you really quite like in a sweaty nightclub.
15.
And when, weeks later, they tell you that they're in love and they can't believe you're still single.
16.
But then you just stop thinking about such shit.
17.
And finally, when you are an adviser on a reality TV show full of candidates who don't have a clue.
But on the plus side you get to put on some sunglasses and look like you own it on HMS Belfast.
