A Comprehensive Guide To Football By Someone Who Knows Absolutely Nothing About It

    As someone who has never seen a full football match on television, I was asked to guess what some of the most common football terms mean. Here goes nothing.

    1.

    It really means this.

    2.

    Wrong. What it really means is this.

    3.

    Nope, that's wrong. It actually means...

    4.

    Nope that's wrong. This term actually means...

    5.

    Wrong again.

    6.

    This is kinda right. A 4-4-2 is...

    7.

    Ummmm.....

    8.

    Nope.

    9.

    That is wrong too.

    10.

    It has nothing to do with ITV gameshows.

    11.

    Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

    12.

    Half a point.

    13.

    Half a point.

    14.

    A quarter of a point.

    15.

    A tenth of a point.

    16.

    *Sigh*