1. This is it. Your final week ever of assessments. You will never witness situations like this ever again.
2. But then after your Finals you feel nothing.
Surely you should have felt more from doing this.
4. Instead you just watch TV like this for hours.
“What a wonderful kind of day. Where you can learn to work and play…”
5. Or you tell your housemates this.
Might be ten hours. Might be ten days.
6. That’s if you can sleep. You might be thinking…
This continues for approximately three and a half months after you graduate.
7. Then there’s the weird experience if you have your final assessments weeks before you actually leave.
8. Where you keep a low profile and try not to ask anyone if they have finished yet in case they haven’t.
Talking to someone who is still studying when you have finished? The worst.
9. You also try to avoid your classmates who are like…
10. You are avoiding your parents on the phone.
But it’s not all that bad. There are some good sides to finishing your degree.
11. You can now enjoy this thing called “going outside”.
Where there are “trees” and “birds” and “green grass”.
12. There’s also this thing called “fruit” and “veg”.
No more sweets / whatever you find to eat in a panic the night before an essay is due. Eat them and your parents will no longer ring you concerned that you will die.
13. Better still… you never have to touch these again.
That’s unless you really quite like these things called “books”, I dunno.
14. And you gain a superiority complex above the people who are in the years below you.
15. Although being trapped indoors studying for so long has resulted in you not being physically able to think of anything else but the essays you have just finished.
16. You’re not able to talk about anything other than essays either.
17. You start to plan your summer.
Shaking your arms. Busting those abs.
18. Before noticing that you might not have any more money. You are terrified of pressing both of these two buttons.
Why? Because you don’t want to see your overdraft bank balance until 2034.
19. Don’t even think of the library fines you still have to pay.
You still owe £274,783,853,586,979,795,687,757,674,867.
20. But after realising that you will no longer drink at the same pubs and clubs ever again, you will say “fuck it” and then continue to spend all your money anyway.
Then one day you think to yourself: “I really don’t want to go. I just don’t.”
21. You become wise and Oprah-like and start dishing out serious truth bombs to people in other years.
You want younger students not to make the same mistakes you did. You even tell a special chosen one where the best secret places to sit in the library are. Yes. Really.
You then think about that subject you have just taken. “All that stress, all that pain, all that knowledge. And now I am leaving. Just what have I got to look forward to?”
22. Not a job. TOSSING HATS IN THE AIR LIKE THIS.
Throw it like you mean it baby.
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