CLOCKS. ARE. GOING. BACK. THIS. WEEKEND.
We all know that this change is important to farmers.
1.
So why is the clocks going back so absolutely awesome? Cos we'll be firmly back in Greenwich Mean Time, ie the greatest time in the universe.
A line so cool that it is like the centre of the universe and time and that, with its epicentre in Greenwich.
A measurement of time so cool that the line is SHOT INTO THE SKY FROM GREENWICH EVERY NIGHT.
2.
Why else is the clocks going back really quite cool? WE WILL GO BACK IN TIME LIKE THE DOCTOR*
3.
And as time has gone back you die earlier. If time didn't change you wouldn't die an hour earlier**
4.
So that's an EXTRA HOUR of more partying.
5.
An EXTRA HOUR to drunkenly text your ex about what you really think of them and tell them where to stick it.
6.
An EXTRA HOUR to spend under the duvet.
7.
An EXTRA hour for foreplay and sexual intercourse.
8.
An EXTRA HOUR to sort out your taxes.
9.
An EXTRA HOUR to get confused about when the shops are actually open on a Sunday.
10.
An EXTRA HOUR to enjoy the tiny cartoon on Sunday papers telling you that clocks went back and that you've got an EXTRA HOUR today.
11.
An EXTRA HOUR to enjoy reading stories about people who had their days ruined because their iPhones didn't remember the time change.
12.
An EXTRA HOUR to panic-watch Breaking Bad (because soon people won't be talking about Breaking Bad and you really need to fit in).
13.
And an EXTRA HOUR to make BuzzFeed posts about why the clocks going back is the most exciting thing ever.
